Welcome to The Tired Puppies Department

Our staff waited months for The Tortured Poet’s Department only to learn that the Anthology album would be twice as long as expected. That’s a lot to unpack for a small group of Swifties but Modern Companion can’t be stopped. First, these are our favorites:

Maddie, Modern Companion’s owner, had a hard time choosing her favorite track from this new drop. She eventually landed on Down Bad as “one of” her favorites from this album. Our Retail Assistant, Makenna, was up early listening to TTPD, her favorite is I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can). Our Marketing and Events Coordinator picked Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? as her favorite track. With such a diverse album, it wasn’t surprising that the staff each picked a different tune.

What was your favorite? Out of 31 songs it may be difficult to choose, but we’ve picked out pet items to match each song. Here’s what your pet needs based on your favorite The Tortured Poet’s Department track:

Fortnight- Snuffle Rose*

Hide 'n Seek Plush Roses - Modern Companion

Fortnight is the beautiful beginning of an album full of thorns. A rose is fitting. Even more fitting is a rose your pet can snuffle for treats in while you analyze every lyric. *In Store Only

The Tortured Poet's Department- Love Sweater

Love Sweater - Modern Companion

This one is for the people who love being cozy. Our super soft Love Sweater is perfect for cuddling by the typewriter.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys- Wunderball 

For the boy who breaks all his toys, our solution is the Wunderball. This ball is as close to indestructible as a toy can be. It’ll hold up to all that rough play.

Down Bad- Space Cadet Tag

Space Cadet Pet ID Tag - Modern Companion

This is the dog tag for people who stare up at the stars. If you’re longing for something up in space, this is a great way to show it.

So Long, London- Pace Dog Scarf

Pace Scarf - Modern Companion

London is cold and very foggy, this dog scarf keeps your best friend cozy while you both walk away from a bad relationship.

But Daddy I Love Him- Dog Dad Hat

Dog Dad Hat - Modern Companion

This hat is perfect for you or the father of your furry kids. 

Fresh Out The Slammer- Waterproof Leash 

Burgundy Waterproof Leash - Modern Companion

The best way to lead your dog home and keep them out of the slammer is a good leash. These are built for trouble. They’re waterproof, super durable, and incredibly easy to clean.

Florida!!!- Loco Coco Bowls 

Loco Coco Interactive Slow Feeder Bowl - Modern Companion

This slow feeder has all the elements that make Florida so addicting. If you’re looking to run away to paradise and forget your troubles, this scene is just what you need.

Guilty as Sin?- Ruby Accessories

Ruby Sailor Bow - Modern Companion

Have you ever heard that red is the color of sin? These accessories won’t fix your troubles but they certainly won’t hurt.

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?- Stuffless Bigfoot 

Stuffless Big Foot - Modern Companion

This cute toy looks very unassuming. You wouldn’t expect that it’s built for tough play with super chewers. This friend is stuffless and ready to take a beating.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)- Wild Bandana Print 

Wild Bandana - Modern Companion

This song gives off old western heroine vibes. The Wild bandana is just sweet enough while still having a touch of bounty hunter. 

loml- Belle Bandana

If your song is loml, you’re a romantic. This pretty print screams romance.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart- Pupsicle

Limited Edition Lavender Pupsicle - Modern Companion 

The Pupsicle is a super durable toy that holds up to anything and still puts on an incredible performance. 

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived- Onion Nosework Toy 

Yellow Onion Nosework Toy - Modern Companion

Don’t get us wrong, this onion is super cute. He’s here because your dog can take this toy apart to find treats hidden in it’s layers and sometimes taking things apart is very cathartic.

The Alchemy- Matching Accessory Set

Swiftie Scrunchie - Modern Companion 

For those of you who have a special connection with your pet, matching accessories are the way to go. Everyone around you will know you’ve got a good thing going on.

Clara Bow- Neville Print 

Neville Bow Tie - Modern Companion

Sometimes you just have to be dazzling. This print sparkles and shines on a darker background. 

The Black Dog- Stevie Octopus 

Stevie Octopus - Modern Companion

We’re recommending Stevie here because he has so many arms to give so many hugs.

imgonnnagetyouback- Jay Print

Jay Bandana - Modern Companion

This print looks expensive, it's gorgeous, it's perfect for getting someone back. This is the revenge dress of bandanas. 

The Albatross- Pet Emergency Rescue Sticker

Pet Emergency Rescue Sticker - Modern Companion

Keep your pets safe with a warning to emergency responders that there are animals in your home. They're sure to pay attention to this warning.

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus- Lamb Chop Treats

Lamb Chop Treats 3.9oz - Modern Companion

If you’re tired of being a million different people, you’re looking for something simple. These treats are single ingredient, they’re perfect just the way they are.

How Did It End?- All the Dogs Mug

This mug is perfect for all the tea you collect or create.

So High School- Mirror Ball Lick Mat

Mirror Ball Lick Mat - Modern Companion

Is anything more stereotypical high school than a mirrorball hanging over a school dance? Maybe that only happens in movies but this is the vibe.

I Hate It Here- Tahoma Harness

Tahoma Harness - Modern Companion

When you’re ready to break out and run away somewhere else, your pet will need a super strong harness to go with you.

thanK you aIMee- PetTergent

PetTergent® - Modern Companion 

You may not be able to forget how she made you feel but your dog’s bed can forget that nasty thing they rolled in last week.

I Look in People's Windows- Love Puffs 

Party Time Love Puffs Organic Dog Treats - Modern Companion

Love Puffs are a good snooping snack for your pet. They’re kind of a popcorn texture so when something dramatic happens you’re prepared.

The Prophecy- Hello My Name Is Obsessed with My Dog Sticker

Hello My Name Is Obsessed with My Dog - Sticker - Modern Companion

This is a reminder that your dog will never leave you, that's the most unconditional love you’ll ever see.

Cassandra- Better Biscuits

Better Biscuit - Modern Companion 

These treats are made sustainably so you’re helping prevent at least one crisis.

Peter- Pet Safe Candles

 Herb Garden Candle - Modern Companion

These candles help you keep the lamp on while making your home smell amazing. They’re even safe for your pets!

The Bolter- Puzzle Feeder Bowl 

If your song is The Bolter, it’s a sign to slow down a little bit. We might not be able to help you do that, but we can help your pet slow down with this slow feeder bowl.

Robin- Cuppy Cake Birthday Cake with Sprinkles

Cuppy Cake Microwaveable Birthday Cake W/ Sprinkles - Modern Companion

This song reminds us of childhood, it makes us want something sweet. These super easy to make dog cakes are the perfect solution.

The Manuscript- Probiotic Shampoo

Hear us out, we’re at the end of a long journey of an album. You’ll need a good shampoo to clean your tears off of your dog while you look back on everything you just heard.


Swifties, we’ve been on a journey together with this launch. It’s time to wipe our tears, pick ourselves up, and take on the rest of the world. Well, take it on until we feel like listening to this entire album and cry again. Stay strong, fellow swifties.

Did you know we have a line inspired by Taylor Swift? From Dog Mom Era shirts to Era Bandanas, we’ve got it all. Check it out!

April 19, 2024 — Mackenzie Patterson